A Series of Completely Unrelated Copdoc Ficlets
by Vslayer
Summary: What the title says, yo. Lauren/Tamsin.
1. The Mall

**A/N: It's been a while since I've updated Dark Fae'ed. You'll be happy to know it's in the works, but time constraints made it hard for me to get any writing done. So, because you've been waiting I'm going to post a series of unrelated one-shots. I posted them on Tumblr a while back, and I wanted to share it with you guys here. **

* * *

Groggily making her way down the stairs of Lauren's apartment, the Valkyrie let herself guided by the strong, and mouth-watering, smell of bacon cooking. She tried not to pass judgment on the Human's decorative tastes, but there was something about that brightly colored living wall that made her believe Lauren might in fact be Poison Ivy. _Where's the batsignal? _

Making her way into the kitchen, she stretched her arms above her head, effectively popping the bones back into place. Letting out a yawn that would make any King of the Jungle jealous, Tamsin graciously parked her rear on one of the stools in front of the island, where she crossed her arms, and laid her head down on top of them.

"Good morning, _Detective_." Lauren's chirpy tone was somewhat unsettling. Especially when Tamsin had to witness the darker blonde break down into sobs at everything that reminded her of the Succubus slut for the past week.

_Did I finally fuck it out of her? Go me. _Lifting her head, yet not fully, she rested her chin on her forearm. With a smile on her face, she watched the Doctor flip the eggs and bacon…and perhaps her tired, green eyes trailed down the woman's body, glued to a specific area. Hint: it rhymes with sass.

"Top of the morning, to ya." The Detective replied flatly, lacking the enthusiasm Lauren seemed to posses this morning.

The Doctor neatly piled the eggs, bacon, toasts and hash browns down on a plate. She turned towards Tamsin, setting the food down in front of her, a wide smile lighting up her face as she drawled out: "Breakfast, is, served."

This was the first morning where Lauren truly felt at peace, where her mind wasn't haunted by 'what if's' about a certain brunette. She had finally came to terms with the break-up, and it was entirely possible that the Valkryie had been an important player in this event.

Their relationship, from the start, had been built on transference of grief. Tamsin was 'happy to help' as she had explained herself. "To protect and serve," was the cheesy line used. It made Lauren laugh, and that's all the Valkyrie wanted; to see her happy and carefree.

Besides, the Doctor deserved better than miss suck-face-with-everyone. The golden blonde didn't want to boast, but she had, oh say, more than 2000 years of experience with romance under her belt. Hell, she literally knew Shakespeare. Confident? Entirely. _Baby Fae, get outta my way. Valkyrie's comin' through and she's gon' steal your girl. I crack myself up._

Tamsin made a face at Lauren as she slapped down one of the eggs onto the buttered toast, covering it with harsh browns, bacon and finally folding the bread in two. "Did I wake up in Narnia, or some shit? Seriously, doc, I thought that morphine was for your patients, not yourself." Dipping the makeshift Texan sandwich into the obscene amount of ketchup on her plate, she titled her head down to take a gigantic and messy bite.

Lauren let out a laugh, running a hand through her hair to flip it back, as it had fallen in front of her face. Stepping next to the Detective, she rested her hand on the woman's forearm, offering her yet another dazzling smile. "Omega 3 and protein are good for you, you'll need the energy." She explained, patting Tamsin's arm.

Seemingly unbothered by the ketchup present at both corners of Tamsin's mouth and how she adopted Cavemens' table manners, Lauren dipped her head down, gently pressing her lips against the woman's cheek.

Scrunching up her face and squinting her eyes, she stopped chewing for a moment; all the semi-masticated food stuffed into her left cheek. Tamsin moved her eyes from left to right as the Doctor walked by her, wondering what the fuck she just got herself into.

* * *

"Why are we here?" Tamsin complained, much like a child not getting the specific kind of candy they requested, as Lauren dragged her by her arm into the super-sized, four-story mall.

"To spend our hard-earned money on goods which we might not even need, nor want. Isn't consumerism a wonderful result of today's socio-economic culture?" Was Lauren's sarcastic yet cheerful reply.

"Newsflash: I don't care."

"Mm, well, I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter, Valkyrie."

"Ugh," Rolling her eyes, Tamsin groaned in a exaggerated manner as she stuffed both of her hands into her jean pockets. "At least tell me we're going to Sport Check."

"We'll see," Raising a challenging brow, mirth dancing in her chocolate brown eyes, Lauren linked her arm through the taller woman's arm, leading her into the what would soon be known as 'The Shopping Spree of Death'.

* * *

Two smoothies, four instances where Tamsin had managed to escape Lauren to watch the Oilers' game on the Sport Check flatscreens and three threats of withholding sex later, they made their last stop, or so Tamsin hoped.

"This is the last store, she said. I promise, she said." The Detective sat down on one of the couches by the fitting booths, leaning forward on her knees as she held up her head with her hand. If there was ever a facial expression created for being 'bored to death', Tamsin wore it in this exact moment.

"You know, for someone with such a great fashion sense, I thought you would enjoy this." Lauren's soft voice filtered through from the stall she currently occupied.

"Thank Steven and Chris for that. Shopping for me is like a recon mission: get in, get the mark, and get the fuck out as quickly and efficiently as possible." Tamsin frowned as she heard the Doctor sigh in irritation. It almost sounded like she was having a wrestling match with the clothes. "Jeez, Doc, is the sun dress chocking you out? Do you need to tap me in?"

"Could you give me a hand?" Lauren asked a little more harshly than she had intended.

Chuckling underneath her breath, the Valkyrie made her way into the stall. As she closed the door behind them, her eyes fell on a scene which hadn't failed to make her laugh: Both of Lauren's arms were bent behind her back as she desperately struggled to fully zip the dress. The creased brow and determined look in the Doctor's eyes was entirely too cute to be legal.

_I wouldn't be against patting her down, or putting her in cuffs for that matter._

Stepping behind the smaller blonde, Tamsin pinched the upper part of the dress together, sliding the zipper upwards in one swift motion. A smirk lifted the corner of her lip as she wrapped both of arms around Lauren's waist, staring at the woman's reflection in the mirror.

The dress hugged all of the Doctor's exquisite curves, clinging to the right places. She wasn't used to seeing Lauren out of her lab coat and usual casual clothing she wore; she was definitely not going to complain.

Moving her hand to Lauren's neck, she gathered the mass of hair hiding the flesh below and tossed it to the other side. Leaning in close to her ear, Tamsin rasped: "Looks hot on ya, but I'd rather see you out of it."

Leaning back into the strong body behind her, Lauren rested her head against the taller woman's shoulder. "Who gave you permission to be this charming?" Her voice was laced with nothing but sarcasm, yet there was a twinge of truth in her statement. Tamsin's brash exterior was slowly fading around her, showing the softer side of the Detective, which Lauren was excited to discover. There was so much more to the woman than snark and bitch-of-the year attitude.

Dipping her head down, the Detective nuzzled the smaller woman's neck. "You should know by now, I never ask, I just do." Her breath crashed against the soft skin of Lauren's neck, causing a shiver and the sudden appearance of a few goose bumps.

Craning her neck, Lauren captured the woman's mouth with her own in a hungry kiss. Her hand made its way behind Tamsin's head, holding her exactly where she wanted her.

Both women's actions grew more feverish as their hands explored all the exposed skin they could find. Lauren turned around, pushing the Valkyrie backwards. The pair simultaneously smiled in the kiss as Tamsin's back crashed against the wall of the fitting booth.

The next fifteen minutes, or so, were spent struggling to keep their voices low, drowning each others' moans as best as they could. At one point, Tamsin had to slap her hand onto Lauren's mouth to keep her verbalized ecstasy from alerting any of the customers or staff members.

The pair left the mall hand in hand; One of them with a victorious grin, the other sporting a smug one and a new perspective on shopping. _Maybe malls weren't so bad after all, _the Valkyrie thought to herself. Looking down at Lauren, their eyes and grins mixed together for a moment before laughter took over both of them. The women found themselves not at all pressed to get back to Tamsin's parked truck.


	2. Trouble Comes in Twos

**A/N:** **I dropped a whole lot of sugar into this, you might need to eat a salad for diner.**

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Tamsin walked into the kitchen, a huge smile across her face and a bundle of joy sitting her left shoulder. Her arm held both of his tiny legs as they dangled down in front of her chest. The little boy's arm was wrapped around the blonde's shoulder, his miniature fingers curled around the material of her black blazer.

The sight of the beautiful Doctor, sitting at the island, caused the pair of piercing green eyes to light up even further. Lauren was far too engrossed in her research to notice the terrible twos entering the room. A look of determination stern across her face, her brow creased as he scribbled down formulas on the interactive screen of her iPad.

The Detective slapped her hand on her wife's backside as she passed by her, heading straight for the freshly brewed coffee on the counter.

"Waddup, Doc?" A smirk tugged the corner of her lips as Lauren yelped a famous scientist's name - which the Valkyrie most likely met - and turned around to glare at the back of Tamsin's head.

Ethan giggled, from his perched position on the tall blonde's shoulder. "Good morning mommy." The boy said in a voice all too innocent and precious for this world.

Lauren's melted under her son's gaze, her expression instantly softened. "Good morning E-" Her eyes grew wide with fear as she noticed his current position. "Tamsin! Get him down from there! He could fall and seriously injure himself."

"Take a chill pill, sweetheart, I got him." The Detective reassured calmly, as she mixed the sugar into the dark black liquid in her mug.

"Mom's got me, mommy!" Ethan replied gleefully.

"Besides, he loves it here, don't ya buddy?" Turning around, Tamsin hid her smirk in the mug as she took a sip of the coffee, raising a challenging eyebrow at her wife's stern look.

"Yes!"

"Why don't you tell mommy the reason why you love it so much?" The Valkyrie's voice feigned innocence, while the mirth dancing in her eyes suggested otherwise.

"Because I get to be taller than everyone, and-and I can see down girl's shirts to look at their boobs-" A large hand was immediately clamped over his mouth by a wide-eyed and panicked Valkyrie.

_Shit, he picks up on things way to quickly. He's a little genius, just like his mother. _The taller blonde cleared her throat, avoiding Lauren's death glare, suddenly finding her mug extremely interesting.

Lauren folded her arms over her chest, her every word dripping and laced with authority: "Get him down. Now, Tamsin."

"Don't ya think mommy's a little grumpy pants this morning?"

"Grumpy pants!" He repeated giggling. Though he had no idea what exactly it meant, he only laughed because Tamsin did.

Lauren shook her head sighing. Already at the age of four, he was already Tamsin's mini-me. It was almost terrifying how alike these two were. He was sure to become a suave lady charmer before he could even spell the word 'heartbreaker'.

Ethan was at the developmental stage where he mimicked everything the Detective did and said. Sometimes it worried her, though Lauren knew her wife was an amazing parent and she trusted her completely, except when their son was perched on her shoulder without any back support.

"What do you think she needs?" Head craned towards Ethan, she quickly glanced at Lauren from the corner of her eye.

"Kisses!" The boy clapped his hands together as he felt his mother move them both into the Doctor's personal space.

Her resolve was quickly dissolving as the pair's laughter was as infectious as any flu virus, spreading throughout Lauren's body and filling her with joy impossible to deny despite herself.

Lauren squeezed her eyes shut; a wide smile grew across her face as she felt two pair of lips pressing wet and loud kisses on either side of her cheeks. Laughter bubbled through the Doctor as she happily gazed at the four emerald eyes staring back at her.

Tamsin set her mug on the counter, slipping her arm around her wife's waist and brought their bodies closer together. Smiling this much should be considered an offense against human rights, and cheeks. Though in this moment, she couldn't give one single fuck as she watched her son wrap both of his small arms around Lauren's neck.

The Detective dipped her head down, capturing the smaller woman's lips with her own. What started out soft and gentle kiss quickly grew in passion, but both women pulled back as they were aware of the very giggly audience member in the room.

Taking a step back, Tamsin finally put her son on the ground. She crouched down next to him, elbows on her knees and hands clasped together. "Go get your things ready, I have to talk to mommy." With a wink, she ruffled his pale, blonde hair before he excitedly took off into the hallway.

"And where exactly are you taking him?" Lauren asked curiously, sliding both of her arms around her wife's neck as Tamsin stood back up to face her.

Wrapping her arms around Lauren once more, she took a deep breath before answering: "It's kids day at the cop shop…"

"I don't know honey, isn't that a little inappropriate for a four year old?"

"It's not like I'll show him dead corpses." Scrunching up her nose, her eyes darted around Lauren's face and she quickly realized that probably wasn't the best thing to say.

So she tried again: "Please, please, please? He really wants to see what I do, and he won't be the only kid there. Come on hotpants, what do you say?" Tamsin offered her the biggest, widest grin she could muster.

"Fine," Slumping her shoulders, she gave Tamsin's lips a quick peck. Everything that could go wrong suddenly invaded her head, fueling her worry like throwing gas on an open flame. "Just make sure he's never alone, in fact don't let him out of your sight and-"

"You're the best." The Valkyrie silenced her wife with yet another kiss. Pulling back, she understood what that look in Lauren's eyes meant, and she quickly added: "And I promise, cross my heart, he'll be glued to me."

"Hopefully not on your shoulder." The Doctor retorted, and though this was spoken with a chuckle, she was completely serious.

"And on that note, I'll see you after shift." With a wink, she kissed the top of Lauren's head before grabbing her son, her badge, and leaving the Doctor alone in their house.

Lauren continued her work, though this time, instead of a frown, she wore a content smile.


End file.
